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Tech and Dating

Posted on May 10, 2019

First  we have to clarify the difference between traditional dating (pre-internet ) and current dating (post-internet and smartphone). ‘Back then’ it was understood that when two people went on a date, the ultimate goal was to determine if both would be a good fit for marriage. The post-internet dating world has spawned the ‘hook-up’ culture. In a world where our need for instant results is satisfied with a Google search, a Tinder swipe, and a ‘tap-and-text-is-sent’, our ‘problems’ are being ‘corrected’ so quickly that we inherently feel relationships should be no different. The shrinking of our global population to pocket screens readily indulges our promiscuous pursuits whether it be a ‘self-quickie’ or a fling. Such abundant access to instant satisfaction leaves deeper levels of intimacy, connection and general communication unestablished.

Millennial men in particular are apprehensive when on the off-chance a woman plucks up the courage to discuss marriage. Today, it might seem strange if not downright ‘creepy’ for a woman to bring up the topic of marriage to a man, but traditionally (and for centuries), the entire premise of dating was to get married.

Online dating is different for both men and women. One thing we both have in common is the swiping from profile to profile over “physical flaws”.

The problem is that rather than seeing the person as a “person”, you are seeing them as a “commodity”. Let’s define these terms accordingly: A “person” is just an individual with their true flaws and neuroticisms or simply human issues that we all have. A commodity is seeing the individual as a good or service that they have to offer you. Ex.: What does this person have to offer me in terms of romance or in terms of sex?

This problem is bad for both men and women separately. Why? When men message on dating platforms they tend to cast a very wide net to get as many potential mates as possible. Hopefully in some way a small percentage of women will message them back.

Women will get 50 - 100 messages from men. Women mostly will not respond to the vast majority of these men. The men then feel personally offended and start calling the women names. Men eventually feel remorseful in the long-run. If they started harassing women when they were 21 or 22, ten years later they feel racked with guilt, which could have long-term damaging effects on their psyche.

For women the barrage of attention is intoxicating because in their daily life where they don’t get approached by men, their egos begin to soar to unhealthy levels. Women stop seeing men as just regular people and just swipe next over and over again until they get to the male profile they find most similar to their ‘Prince Charming’, a mythical stud whose appearance and demeanor has been conceived by lifelong subliminal indoctrination. In many (not all) cases the pristine physical appearance masks hubris and a bad boy persona.

At SingleStroll we strive to address the relationship issues men and women have.

We do this by firstly removing the key ‘ice-breaker’ question: ‘Are you single?’. Everyone who goes on a singles tour must be single. If you ever encounter a SingleStroll member who claims otherwise, you can flag their profile.

We understand that the definition of ‘dating’ has changed. We also understand that at the basis of all relationships, from friendships to partners, communication is key.

When you sign up for a singles-only tour a list of 20 questions will show on your profile. You are highly encouraged to ask people on the tour these questions.

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